I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
