Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
