So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize