I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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