I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
