OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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