I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize