You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
