Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
