what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It's never too late to be topless.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
