Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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