Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
