he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
