i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
