dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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