We won't sleep together?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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