Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
