upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Are we still banned from the library?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
