we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
