I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
