the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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