That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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