can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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