It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
