I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
