god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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