just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
