Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
