do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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