I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My penis needs a shock collar
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
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