forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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