There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
