so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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