If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
