I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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