Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
