I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
