and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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