your room smells of hookers.
And success
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
