just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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