Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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