it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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