My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
