What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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