Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
