marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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