just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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