Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
