the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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