He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I will pee on everything he values.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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