I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I wish you could order shots online.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
