Can Purell be used as lube?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
