sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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