Dual....:-)
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
My breasts were aching with rage.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
