Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
