Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
